Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
