I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
