An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
