hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
