Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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