Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
