I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
