I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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