Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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