Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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