Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
