seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
