At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
