Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
