I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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