Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
