I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
