separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Randomize