he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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