I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
