She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
foreskin is a definite game changer
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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