even my farts smell like vagina
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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