i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
