they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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