what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
try to milk me bitch
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize