ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
