I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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