Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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