So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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