he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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