Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
