It's Friday. Sex?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
