Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
