Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
