dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
