you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize