Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
