i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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