i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
