Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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