plz talk dirty to me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
