Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
