This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
