Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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