There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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