New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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