We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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