do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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