I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
