i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Randomize