I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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