The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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