where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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