if you like me you must not know who I am
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Randomize
