question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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