Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
