you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
