im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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